I had a bad day yesterday. A total GRITS day. It actually started the night before, I went to bed mad. I went to bed mad because I needed to tell J something and I was putting it off. Communication is our #1 priority, but for some reason I decided that this thing was really hard to say.
Then I woke up and every little thing was irritating me! My hubby bought me a bottle of pinapple, orange and mango juice. He said he had one and it was delicious and he wanted me to have one on my way to work. (sweet right?) I looked at the Nutritional Facts and was furious! 49g of sugar?! How dare you give this to me! See? Rediculously mad.
By the end of the day at work I had chewed off all my nails. Now I have stubs. I'm so sad! My nails were perfect for my wedding. I kept them long for months! And this one day...I lose them all.
Everything was going wrong yesterday. The bank lost the checks I ordered, so they are sending me more. My student loan payment went through, so I have no money. I texted J telling him I was in a bad mood and having a bad day. His reply was that he was having a bad day too. We vented a little to each other over text, but when I got home I lost it.
This poor guy. His life is so simple, his faith is so strong. I feel like the biggest disappointment in his life. Even though the night before, the day before yesterday he said out of the blue: "I'm just so lucky to have you". Which of course I questioned: "what do you mean?" "But what exactly did you mean?" "Is this coming from something?" "Why did you say that?" Poor guy is going to learn to keep his mouth shut and I'll never hear those words again. :(
See? A not good day. So after we yell and scream and miss 6:30 mass (grr). I tell him what I was holding back, which was nothing in the big picture of things. We end up talking things out and get back to what IS important. Remember this? Remember Making Things Happen in 2013? My motivation being: There is no right time to do the right thing. - always do the right thing Well I took that to heart too much and began stressing myself out on all the things I need to get done in order for life to be good. Not perfect, just good. But J reminded me that it's not worth it if it leads to such stress. Obviously what I think is 'good', isn't. It's stressing me out. If God wanted me to have that 'good life' I think I need, it wouldn't be so hard to acheive. But God only asks for what we have. So I have everything I need to fulfill God's plan. Ah ha! I am not trying to fulfill God's plan. I'm trying to fulfill MINE. And that's why it is so stressful! Because I don't know what I want/need. I just need to let go and Let God. Thank God for my husband!
I totally believe in Holy Spirit moments and following that conversation, the Holy Spirit checked in today. Every morning on Facebook I am greeted by my favorite nun from college. And every morning I read her reflection. Today she said:
"Today's readings offer to us a reminder - following the law of God leads to life. Following God's will for ourselves and for our world leads to life in abundance. And what does that mean? This particular Gospel passage comes after the Beatitudes and before Jesus' explanation of going beyond the external practices. To put it simply, to love. God, who is Love itself, calls us to participate in the very life of God, which is to love. Let us, then, strive to live by the law of love - today and each day."
Now I'm on fire with letting go and letting God. I couldn't help but revisit my Making Thing Happen 2013 Pinterest board and run across a few more pInspirational pins.
In case you missed the Making Things Happen moment, visit LaraCasey and she'll guide you along. There are a lot of pinterest boards dedicated to their 2013 Making Things Happen mission. I found it so inspiring that many pins mentioned God. According to the media (I try not to listen to), God is dead. But there are children of God alive in this world. If anything, THAT gave me courage to keep on keeping on. As Robert Frost says:
Peace be with you,
Labels: feel good, God, good people, grits, inspiration, Marianist, motivation, pinterest, relax, words of wisdom