12 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

I came across this list from Babble.com  about pregnancy etiquette. I'm sure I said one of these "don'ts" to a pregnant friend or family member of mine and if I did let me apologize! 

I wanted to share this with you all because it is CRAZY the things friends and family but especially STRANGERS feel they can say to you. Consider your words before you open your mouth people!

• Was it planned? What to say instead: “Congratulations, kids are great!”
• Did you take fertility drugs? What to say instead: “Do multiples run in your family?”
• You look like you're ready to pop! What to say instead: “How are you feeling?”
• Hmm, a lot of people are asking how I'm feeling. Does this mean I look ready to pop?!
• Are you sure there aren't twins in there? What to say instead: “Do you know what you are having?”
• Can I touch your belly? What to say instead: “Wow, you look great! What a cute belly!”
• Have you picked a name yet? Instead say: "Are you having fun picking a name?"
• This helps avoid the whole awkward "We're not telling the name to you because you're not important enough"
• Enjoy _____ now because once the baby comes, you can kiss that goodbye. What to say instead: “Parenting is certainly full of ups and downs but it’s worth it!”
• You shouldn't be eating/drinking that. What to say instead: “Boy, does that look delicious!”
• If you aren't close enough to tell me what I should/n't be eating when I'm not pregnant, then don't share your opinions just because I am pregnant.
• I never had morning sickness. What to say instead: “How have you been feeling? Any morning sickness?”
• And THEN you can chime in about you not having it...haha
• I was sick my whole 9 months. What to say instead: “Don’t worry, you will feel better soon enough!”
• I was ripped open from end to end What to say instead: “I had a rough experience, but not all women go through what I did.”
• Seriously hearing horror stories is SO awkward. First because it's so personal and I probably don't know you that well and secondly how is that supposed to help my pregnancy? We have nothing in common except that we've both been pregnant. Why will my experience be like yours?
• Get an epidural! What to say instead: “I decided to get an epidural because…but everyone is different.”

My personal suggestion:

Instead of "Woah! You're getting so big!" Say, with a smile, "You're blooming!"
That was hand down the nicest "compliment" I've received from a stranger during this pregnancy.

Grits,


p.s. Dear family and friends, you know I love you. And if you did say anything to offend me you know I'd let you know ;) No worries, this post isn't directed at anyone specifically.

Source: http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/etiquette-rules-pregnancy-jokes-humor-rude-comments/etiquette-rules-pregnancy-jokes-humor-rude-comments-6/

What I do for a living

My past life consisted of job titles such as:
Sales Associate
Wedding Planner
Director of Catering

all pretty self-explanatory titles.

My current job title is Stewardship Coordinator in the Office of Stewardship and Development.

Many of my family and friends ask me "But, what do you DO?"

In the beginning I would say "I'm a grant writer". But that's only half of my job. The other half is spreading the message of stewardship. Something I will share with you today.

I grew up in the Catholic Church and Catholic school system in the Diocese of Dallas, TX. I had never heard the word stewardship until I applied for my position here in Lubbock. My current professional contacts in Dallas parishes tell me the word "stewardship" still isn't used very often in Dallas.

My study guide

'Stewardship: A Disciple's Response' was written by the United States Council of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) and published in 1992. In this book one of the definitions for stewardship is the giving of Time, Talent and Treasure to God; a concept I had never heard of. I knew you were supposed to give a monetary offering at mass, but I didn't know there was a word for that. I thought  it was to ease your Catholic guilt.
Note that this book was written a little over 20 years ago. So many of our church 'elders' and volunteers (even today's CCE teachers) were not taught about stewardship and therefore do not share the message of stewardship to their classes. I've never been to seminary, but I suspect stewardship 101 isn't a course option.

Here's where I step in: My job is to spread stewardship. I am to help it become a common word that doesn't speak only to mass offerings or giving of treasure. I spent my first year on the job learning and studying Church teachings on stewardship (and yes, the word and concept is in the Bible). This being my second year, I am much more comfortable spreading the message of Stewardship.

I have been given plenty of opportunities to share the message. At this year's 2013 ICSC conference I was a moderator for a stewardship session (my boss got sick and I thought I might be called to present, but alternates stepped in at the last minute). And this past weekend I was a speaker at our diocese's Catechetical Conference  (the teaching of catechesis - your CCE teachers and youth ministers).  My one hour sessions were: Stewardship and the New Evangelization, How to host a Stewardship Sunday and Stewardship in our Religious Education and Youth Groups.

All of these presentations center around the following four principles of stewardship:
which I'll share with you tomorrow!


Stay Tuned!

I had a bad day

I had a bad day yesterday.  A total GRITS day.  It actually started the night before, I went to bed mad.  I went to bed mad because I needed to tell J something and I was putting it off.  Communication is our #1 priority, but for some reason I decided that this thing was really hard to say.

Then I woke up and every little thing was irritating me!  My hubby bought me a bottle of pinapple, orange and mango juice.  He said he had one and it was delicious and he wanted me to have one on my way to work. (sweet right?) I looked at the Nutritional Facts and was furious!  49g of sugar?!  How dare you give this to me!  See? Rediculously mad.

By the end of the day at work I had chewed off all my nails.  Now I have stubs.  I'm so sad!  My nails were perfect for my wedding.  I kept them long for months!  And this one day...I lose them all.

Everything was going wrong yesterday.  The bank lost the checks I ordered, so they are sending me more.  My student loan payment went through, so I have no money.  I texted J telling him I was in a bad mood and having a bad day.  His reply was that he was having a bad day too.  We vented a little to each other over text, but when I got home I lost it. 

This poor guy.  His life is so simple, his faith is so strong.  I feel like the biggest disappointment in his life.  Even though the night before, the day before yesterday he said out of the blue: "I'm just so lucky to have you".  Which of course I questioned: "what do you mean?"  "But what exactly did you mean?"  "Is this coming from something?"  "Why did you say that?"  Poor guy is going to learn to keep his mouth shut and I'll never hear those words again.  :(

See? A not good day.  So after we yell and scream and miss 6:30 mass (grr).  I tell him what I was holding back, which was nothing in the big picture of things.  We end up talking things out and get back to what IS important.  Remember this?  Remember Making Things Happen in 2013?  My motivation being: There is no right time to do the right thing. - always do the right thing Well I took that to heart too much and began stressing myself out on all the things I need to get done in order for life to be good.  Not perfect, just good.  But J reminded me that it's not worth it if it leads to such stress.  Obviously what I think is 'good', isn't.  It's stressing me out.  If God wanted me to have that 'good life' I think I need, it wouldn't be so hard to acheive.  But God only asks for what we have.  So I have everything I need to fulfill God's plan.  Ah ha!  I am not trying to fulfill God's plan.  I'm trying to fulfill MINE.  And that's why it is so stressful!  Because I don't know what I want/need.  I just need to let go and Let God.  Thank God for my husband!

I totally believe in Holy Spirit moments and following that conversation, the Holy Spirit checked in today.  Every morning on Facebook I am greeted by my favorite nun from college.  And every morning I read her reflection.  Today she said:

"Today's readings offer to us a reminder - following the law of God leads to life. Following God's will for ourselves and for our world leads to life in abundance. And what does that mean? This particular Gospel passage comes after the Beatitudes and before Jesus' explanation of going beyond the external practices. To put it simply, to love. God, who is Love itself, calls us to participate in the very life of God, which is to love.  Let us, then, strive to live by the law of love - today and each day."

 Now I'm on fire with letting go and letting God.  I couldn't help but revisit my Making Thing Happen 2013 Pinterest board and run across a few more pInspirational pins. 

In case you missed the Making Things Happen moment, visit LaraCasey and she'll guide you along.  There are a lot of pinterest boards dedicated to their 2013 Making Things Happen mission.  I found it so inspiring that many pins mentioned God.  According to the media (I try not to listen to), God is dead.  But there are children of God alive in this world.  If anything, THAT gave me courage to keep on keeping on. As Robert Frost says:

  Peace be with you,

West Texas

You might be wondering where in the heck I live now.  I'm in a little town west of Plainview TX and northwest of Lubbock TX.  I'm south of Amarillo and have only a 1 hour drive to New Mexico.  It's a wonderful area known as 'West Texas'.  We all claim one another.  If you were to ask someone from Lubbock if they were from Amarillo they'd say "No, but I have an aunt/sister/brother who lives there".  See?  We're all family out here.  If you need help the people of West Texas will make it happen and by the end of the day the whole town will know your name. 

My mom sent me this beautiful video featuring a photographer's view of West Texas.  I hope you enjoy the video below.  I watched it yesterday morning and it reminded me of what I love about this place.  No buildings, no roads, just God's great earth, wild animals and nature.  NONE of these pictures are of my small town.  But I've been to the Palo Duro Canyon and it is beautiful.  I am definitely in the market for a high end camera so that I can feature my small town as the gem it is.  Enjoy the peace and quiet in this 5 minute video:



Livin' in West Texas in my High Heels!

Sr. LaLe's Wedding Advice

I had a special visitor in my office today.  She's no stranger to me, I eat lunch with her most days.  Sr. Lala Pelikan is a nun in our Christian Formation office here at the Diocese.  Along with being my lunch buddy she's also knitting me a Virgin Mary prayer shawl for my wedding day.  It will be my something blue!  So after our lunch in the break room she stopped by my office to look at my bridal portraits (which I can't wait to show you!).  Then she passes along this marriage advice:

1) Never keep score.  Don't say "well I did it last time" or "I did this so you do that"
2) Never give up on your children.  Never say "I've done all I can do", because when you do - that's when the communication stops
3) Never stop praying for your marriage and your children.  Because if you don't, who will?  God gave you those responsibilities because He knew you could take care of them. So keep praying for them!

I thought this was great advice for this Bride-to-be!

High Heels!

Why do I love Social Media?

Sure it is distracting.
It can be addicting.
Some people choose to share hate not love.

But sometimes, and I'm honored to say in the crowd I roll with from San Antonio there is a community.  A community of moms, dads, young adults, millionaires and poor college kids who come together.  I met this group at BMPR The Business Media Public Relations Meet up.  (Did that link work for you? It didn't work for me). 

And one member of this organization reached out to other organization members and did an amazing act in response to Jessica Ghawi's death in Aurora.  Jessica is a San Antonio local who deserves to be surrounded by friends and family as she is buried this weekend.

Read this moving blog post by a wonderful writer @lettergirl here.

-HIGH Heels!!