Dear Daddy-to-be,

Can you believe it's been 8 months since I asked you "Do you want to start trying?"? It feels like yesterday! Seriously, I remember exactly where we were and your facial expression when you heard the question. Now-a-days I can't remember my own name, but I'll never forget your face! Time flies when you're having fun! 

I think this pregnancy has been awesome for our relationship. Not that things were ever bad, but with the could-be stress of a pregnancy things are going much better than I expected.

You have been such a support throughout these 8 months. I am actually looking forward to the support you'll provide me during the labor and birthing process. I wouldn't want anyone else by my side in the hospital.

On that note, I want to say Thank You:

Thank you for joining me on this adventure.
Thank you for supporting me along the way.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for calming my nerves.
Thank you for having your own opinion.
Thank you for dealing with my mood swings, even though you say they aren't that bad, I kinda think you are lying to make me feel better. ;) 
Thank you for coming TO me when I cry (due to hormones) instead of "giving me space".
Thank you for agreeing to keep the name a secret.
Thank you for the many many massages.
Thank you for dealing with my awkward sleeping patterns and positions now.
Thank you for the food runs.
Thank you for tempting me with ice cream and congratulating me when I refuse.
Thank you for gaining more weight than me! (I don't really mean that - haha)
Thank you for not overreacting to my stretch marks like I did.
Thank you for your positive outlook on our future.
Thank you for attending the birthing classes and doctors appointments.
Thank you for planning a paternity leave.
Thank you for your prayers.
and of course, Thank you for being who you are! I think we make a great team! You are one of a kind and I wouldn't have it any other way!

High Heels!

It's my birthday!

This will be the second year in a row Hubby woke up early to make me birthday pancakes. He's so awesome! 
Here's to many more birthday's together and even more pancakes!

A pain in my Abscess

You have no clue what love is until - your husband is picking you up off the couch while you are screaming in tears trying to make it to the bathroom in time to tinkle for the millionth time that day.  you have NO CLUE

This man I married is AMAZING and I spent the last 5 days realizing what a great catch I have.

*disclaimer: while this is a love story, it's more of a medical journal entry so if you are queasy you may not want to continue reading. Just know that a good man loves you "in sickness and in health"

All month my lower back has been killing me. Hello, I'm 3 months pregnant, of course it hurts!
Last Monday when I went to work I couldn't help but grab some ice from the break room and ice my lower back. I've always had a bulge down there I called my "butt bump". It flared up on long drives and hot days. It's where you think a human tail would appear, if that makes sense. I had it flare up to a painful point when I lived in San Antonio and *cringe* one of my med student friends "popped" it and it felt better. It is in a place on my body that I can hardly see, so I'm not sure what it looked like before or after the "procedure". (I was in so much pain, I would have let him cut off my left arm that day).

Fast forward to the present when I'm icing my back Monday and Tuesday with no relief. Come Wednesday I can't get out of bed. Something is wrong. I decide to stay home and switch between ice and heat. Hubby is not happy with my self-diagnosis and wants me to visit the doctor. I don't want to drive an hour to Lubbock for a doctor appointment that might lead to nothing. He suggests a closer (45 minute) hospital where we are friends with one of the doctors, Isabelle. We call and Isabelle is no longer accepting new patients. "Ah-em! Doesn't she know who I am?!" so we text her husband abnd he suggests we use this new doctor and when I say new I mean NEW. Fresh off her residency, this curly blond haired big eyed doctor. At our first meeting I love her, Hubs isn't convinced.

She takes a quick look and says "Oh, it's an abscess. We'll just drain it and it'll go away". Whatever you say lady, I can't even see what's going on. We tell her I'm pregnant and she gets the look of doom "Oh, that limits our pain options and our antibiotics, let me think...." seems like she was thinking FOREVER!! She decides Tylenol will have to do for pain, anesthesia is out of the question and a form of penicillin will do for the antibiotic (grade B so kinda baby safe). She made a small incision to help "pop" the wound. Did I mention no anesthesia? We filled the antibiotics and raced home to rest. It worked for about a day, but Saturday-Sunday there was no progress. Again, I can't see this part of my body so I'm taking hubby's remarks and he's telling me it's actually getting bigger. When he pushes to help it drain the pressure is almost unbearable, but I tough it out. I know he's not pushing as much as he could...he can't stand hearing me scream out in pain.

You may not know, because I am behind on this blog, but I'm about 15 weeks pregnant. This pain keeps me from laying on my back and for some reason laying on my side puts my arms and legs to sleep. So I am forced to lay on my stomach. My bloated, growing baby belly stomach. The kid is not happy. I'm cramping all day, but that is nothing compared to the pain on my back. So I offer my pain to God and just ask that he keeps this baby safe.

Hubs is racing home from work every chance he gets. He's bringing me water, changing my gauze, keeping track of my medication. Unfortunately he has experience with this because his mother had a similar incident, but MUCH for harmful and dangerous. I know he's offering prayers for me and our baby. He's trying to keep me fed, which is hilarious. He doesn't know how to make soup or Kraft mac & cheese. He knows now...his children will thank him.

Monday morning we are back at the doctor. I'm not crying as much, but something is not right. There's no change! Dr. Doogie Howser takes a look at my wound and made an exclamation like "Woah!" just what you want your doctor to say. So she makes another incision, much larger this time, as I cling to my husband for dear life. Again, no anesthesia. Hubs is coaching me through slow breathing so I don't pass out (labor preview??) and takes such a beating. He asks the nurse for a wad of gauze so that I can stop biting him and bite the gauze instead. It felt like my entire weekend of pain just pour out of me. Hubs said the doctor's face was hilarious, good thing I couldn't see it, I would have freaked out. I felt incredibly better after the 2nd cut. If you are interested, YouTube draining of abscess....that's what happened. If you have a weak stomach. DO NOT YouTube that. FYI, I have NOT watched that video.

We head home and within minutes I'm standing and walking around the house, sitting in chairs and feeling AMAZING. I'm an antibiotics for another week and take one more day from work just to stay rested. Hello, I have 2 open wounds on my tailbone. Ouch!

My lessons learned are:
Go to the Doctor I had no clue my little "butt bump" it would flare up THAT large - Thank GOD I am in my 2nd trimester or the antibiotics could seriously hurt the baby's development. I didn't have insurance until this year (1-year probation at my new job) and I got pregnant as soon as I got insurance so this was a Murphy's Law moment
Let yourself be taken care of I wanted to get my own water and feed myself, but it would have only made the pain worse and delayed the healing
Use antibacterial soap Doctor said most people don't use antibacterial soap when bathing anymore. They use the sweet smelling or "all natural" soap (yep, that's me!) and she told me to switch to Dial soap immediately. If you're healthy and "detoxing" with a healthy diet and lifestyle, all those toxins are sitting on your skin. If you don't kill them with soap - where are they going to go? Oo! Oo! I know I know!!!  Dial is my new best friend. Hubs heard that if you use it every day your body will become immune to it....but I haven't used an antibacterial soap for YEARS so I'll use it for a while. It smells like my grandma's bathroom.
Pray and ask for prayers My ACTS community has a prayer line that you can request prayers via email. I wrote an e-mail through my pain and tears (it took me 30 minutes to write 3 sentences). As soon as I pressed "send" I felt at peace. As soon as I saw the e-mail distributed on the prayer list the pressure lifted and the next day my Doctor made the 2nd incision. Hubs and I have said rosaries every night this week. I don't say any of this to brag, Christ calls us to be humble. I only say this so you know there IS a higher power who helps us through our suffering and he DOES make change in our lives. Don't forget to call on him and his saints for intervention.
My husband is awesome woah. I knew we would bond over the baby and even in the delivery room. But this week was a pretty cool experience. Things are definitely not back to normal and I don't want them to be. I was completely exposed this week (in more ways than one) and this man didn't run and hide or pass me along to another care taker. He was by my side through it ALL. I cannot picture any other man I dated taking care of me like Farmer J did/does. He's so sad I'm back at work. He wishes I was at home...so he could love on me a little more. xoxo

This reminds me of a Xanga post, all words no pictures! Sorry about that. I wasn't sure what photos to insert, if you have any ideas leave them in the comments!

Grits,

Am I pregnant?

around July 7, 2013



As newlyweds Farmer J and I were considering starting a family soon.  I had been using an ovulation calendar app for quite a while to keep us from getting pregnant.  But as the newlywed dust has settled we thought it may be the time to add another person to the mix.  We decided to try once and if the app was misleading, look into more vigorous NFP. My best friend had just gotten engaged, but without a wedding date in mind we thought we'd try once and just once.

Farmer J thought we wouldn't succeed on the first try.  I thought we would, his dad has 17 grandchildren they are a fertile bunch. So we tried. ONCE. The next month I was late, so I thought I definitely was. I would ask "don't you think I'm pregnant?" and he would say "no", so I went with it.  I didn't feel pregnant anyways. Maybe I was late because we had tried on the right day and my body was just figuring it out...."hmm, what to do with this thing floating around in here."

Turns out we are pregnant!

Ta-Da!

I'm not sure if I want to say "we're expecting" or "we're pregnant" or "I'm pregnant and it's all his fault".

Finding out you are pregnant is kind of like proposing.  It's this cool moment you get to share with your husband forever and you can cherish his reaction for the rest of your lives. Well, that would be the case if my husband wasn't so nosey!

Friday after work he bought a test at the local Dollar General. The lady behind the counter offered the $1 pregnancy test, but he told her he'd hear it if he came home with the $1 test, so he got the more expensive one. This test said to test in the morning and not to test after drinking a lot of liquid.  I had just drank a glass of tea and it was pushing 10 pm but I still took it anyways. It came back negative. When we looked closer, the control line on the test didn't show up...you know how scientists need a controlled data set.  Well this dollar store product didn't have one.  It was a dud :(  We went to bed, went to a wedding that Saturday and bought three tests at good ole' Walmart for Sunday morning.  I woke up early Sunday and went to the restroom and almost forgot to take the test! My Kegel exercises came in handy as I hurriedly unwrapped the test and wizzed away. (TMI? sorry) It came back positive.  I wanted to crawl back into bed and dream up the many ways I could tell my husband, but when I got out of the bathroom he was already out of bed. 

"Well, are you pregnant? I heard you take the test."
"I'm not telling you"
"Why won't you tell me"
"Your birthday is in three days, you can wait until then"
"So you are pregnant?"
"Maybe, or maybe your birthday present is that you were actually right for once."
"I doubt that, you're pregnant, just tell me!"

I didn't tell him.  I really wanted to surprise him and have it on camera and everything.  I'm stubborn.
He is just as stubborn because for the rest of the day he wouldn't let up about it!  He kept testing me "well, let's go get a drink! Or can you not drink because you are pregnant??" and "what do you want for dinner, any special cravings??"

Finally we were in mass at 5pm on Sunday and the choir was singing "Hail Mary Gentle Woman" and I just felt it would be good to tell him at mass surrounded by God and his angels.  So at the Sign of Peace I whispered in his ear "I'm pregnant".

His response: "I knew it!"

And let me tell you he turned into the most caring and even more protective man from that moment on.  He keeps touching my stomach, sorry dear that's just fat.  He keeps asking how I feel. I dunno, this being pregnant thing may be a good thing for us.

I just DREAD the weight I will gain over the next nine months. We have vowed to walk the dogs EVERY night to keep from getting lazy and being unhealthy. 

I was able to surprise him with donuts and a onesie on his birthday morning.

"Rad like Dad"

It was as gender neutral as I could find..

A Texas Sized Blizzard!

If you follow High Heels and Grits on twitter or Instagram you probably saw what happened this weekend.  A Texas sized blizzard!  Now, a Texas sized blizzard isn't the usual "everything's bigger in Texas" blizzard.  It's a one foot of snow blizzard.  But that's the amount of snow Texas gets in a decade.  So I'm calling it a Texas Sized Blizzard!!!

Out here in West Texas, in between Amarillo and Lubbock, we got a little bit of snow on Thursday.

This is my drive to Lubbock on Thursday, nothing to write home about

Even Max asked "Why are you taking my picture you crazy lady it's just a little snow"

Friday was a beautiful day with no snow or rain.  I went out to Amarillo to visit my sister-in-law.

Saturday we were out at the barn.  Dogs were running around and even drove home in the bed of the truck. 

Everyone did great until Ranger decided to jump out a quarter mile from the house.  He survived with no injuries, but he was definitely in shock for a while.  Silly dog. 

Sunday night we had youth group and almost cancelled because of the Blizzard warning we got on our phones.  But we stuck with it and had a great time with the teens.  Everyone made it home safely, as the blizzard rolled in over night.

I woke up Monday morning to this view.

Stepped outside to take out the dogs and couldn't see a thing.  This is a still shot.  The wind is blowing snow 34mph!!

 

We stayed inside for most of the day.  I led my nieces and nephews in a much needed yoga session.  Which wasn't as relaxing as yoga usual (they are 6, 7, and 9 years old).  But it did stretch out our couch potato bodies.  The wind didn't stop until the afternoon, and as soon as it did we were outside!

 

Hubby shoveled the walkway for us. 

 

 

The truck was full of snow!  So we took the work truck into town to check out the damage.  I think J really wanted to look for people in distress.  Every stranded car we came across he'd slow down and make sure there was no one inside.  He loves his truck and handles it great in rain, snow and mud so I'd trust him to pull me out of any ditch!

Thoughout the day I learned something new about our small town.  They love their town!  The first road cleared after the storm was Main street.  Main Street isn't a interstate or TX Hwy, it's just a little road through town.  But it's OUR road and it's gotta be clean.

A big pile of show in the middle of Main Street

 Main St.

None of the shops were open...but Main Street was clear!

 

To give you an idea of the amount of snow...Here's a before and after.

 

Official reports say 7".  I say between 16"-24"!!

This is my first blizzard, so maybe things were a little exagerated in my eyes.

 

 

There is ONE thing this city girls knows about snow:

 

 Don't eat the yellow snow!!

 

We didn't eat yellow snow and we survived just fine.  I hear it was only 3" or so in Lubbock, so I'm glad my little town the amount it did!  Snow slowly melts into the ground.  There are still huge piles of snow across town and on the fields!  Praying for a great crop this year and a full water well!

 

 

 

Have you ever been in a blizzard before?  What was your experience like?

 

Grits,